Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
If you only knew
what I've been too scared to tell you,
what would you do?
If I were much braver for what's painfully true,
would you say our budding friendship is through?
You can never stop time
but there’s an illusion of a pause
Turn off the phone
Close all the windows
Lock all your doors
Lie down
Run, run away
You, with no shame
Never return, not a day
I’ll remember your name
with sickness in me
I've been transported back in time
something familiar
yet also bizarre
the same old Twilight Zone
with the same old Culture of Silence
You demand
to be the centre of your lover’s attention
as if she’s not allowed a life of her own
It’s the double standard
of the one feeling more entitled
There’s the child and the adult
a heated argument involved
You think the child’s always being told
but not all adults are the grown-ups
It’s funny when you see
A mismatched emotion
A complete opposite to the sun
Free, off the hook for a while
From work that has tied you down
What’s with the blues?
Enjoy these moments
of zero torments
no demands
except work to be done
Pseudo-romance
Another year gone by
left without questions why
The same old rituals
the familiar matters
The same old, mundane conversation
A familiar sign
You thought you’d seen the sun
under the gloomy night sky
that you’d break a smile
Yes, he was beautiful,
Bright lights, late at night
from the city streets so quiet
He woke up in a daze
with blood on his face
his memories erased.
Will I ever get to know
the meaning of that look?
I'm afraid to find out as I go
There might be no turning back,
once I'm hooked