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Brave Alum Bey

Oh, big was the bosom of brave ALUM BEY,

And also the region that under it lay,

In safety and peril remarkably cool,

And he dwelt on the banks of the river Stamboul.

Each morning he went to his garden, to cull

A bunch of zenana or sprig of bul-bul,

And offered the bouquet, in exquisite bloom,

To BACKSHEESH, the daughter of RAHAT LAKOUM.

by William Schwenck Gilbert

An English Girl

A wonderful joy our eyes to bless,

In her magnificent comeliness,

Is an English girl of eleven stone two,

And five foot ten in her dancing shoe!

She follows the hounds, and on she pounds -

The "field" tails off and the muffs diminish -

Over the hedges and brooks she bounds -

Straight as a crow, from find to finish.

by William Schwenck Gilbert

Don't Forget!

Now, Marco, dear,

My wishes hear:

While you're away

It's understood

You will be good,

And not too gay.

To every trace

Of maiden grace

by William Schwenck Gilbert

Babette's Love

BABETTE she was a fisher gal,

With jupon striped and cap in crimps.

She passed her days inside the Halle,

Or catching little nimble shrimps.

Yet she was sweet as flowers in May,

With no professional bouquet.

JACOT was, of the Customs bold,

An officer, at gay Boulogne,

by William Schwenck Gilbert

The Sorcerer: Act I

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Sir Marmaduke Pointdextre, an Elderly Baronet

Alexis, of the Grenadier Guards—His Son

Dr. Daly, Vicar of Ploverleigh

John Wellington Wells, of J. W. Wells & Co., Family Sorcerers

Lady Sangazure, a Lady of Ancient Lineage

Aline, Her Daughter—betrothed to Alexis

Mrs. Partlet, a Pew-Opener

William Schwenck Gilbert

Only Roses

To a garden full of posies

Cometh one to gather flowers;

And he wanders through its bowers

Toying with the wanton roses,

Who, uprising from their beds,

Hold on high their shameless heads

With their pretty lips a-pouting,

Never doubting - never doubting

by William Schwenck Gilbert

The Way of Wooing

A maiden sat at her window wide,

Pretty enough for a Prince's bride,

Yet nobody came to claim her.

She sat like a beautiful picture there,

With pretty bluebells and roses fair,

And jasmine-leaves to frame her.

And why she sat there nobody knows;

But this she sang as she plucked a rose,

by William Schwenck Gilbert

Captain Reece

Of all the ships upon the blue,

No ship contained a better crew

Than that of worthy CAPTAIN REECE,

Commanding of THE MANTELPIECE.

He was adored by all his men,

For worthy CAPTAIN REECE, R.N.,

Did all that lay within him to

Promote the comfort of his crew.

by William Schwenck Gilbert

The Two Majors

An excellent soldier who's worthy the name

Loves officers dashing and strict:

When good, he's content with escaping all blame,

When naughty, he likes to be licked.

He likes for a fault to be bullied and stormed,

Or imprisoned for several days,

And hates, for a duty correctly performed,

To be slavered with sickening praise.

by William Schwenck Gilbert

Anglicised Utopia

Society has quite forsaken all her wicked courses,

Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces.

(Divorce is nearly obsolete in England.)

No tolerance we show to undeserving rank and splendour;

For the higher his position is, the greater the offender.

(That's a maxim that is prevalent in England.)

No Peeress at our Drawing-Room before the Presence passes

Who wouldn't be accepted by the lower-middle classes;

by William Schwenck Gilbert

The Yarn of the Nancy Bell

'Twas on the shores that round our coast

From Deal to Ramsgate span,

That I found alone on a piece of stone

An elderly naval man.

His hair was weedy, his beard was long,

And weedy and long was he,

And I heard this wight on the shore recite,

In a singular minor key:

by William Schwenck Gilbert

The Bumboat Woman's Story

I'm old, my dears, and shrivelled with age, and work, and grief,

My eyes are gone, and my teeth have been drawn by Time, the Thief!

For terrible sights I've seen, and dangers great I've run -

I'm nearly seventy now, and my work is almost done!

Ah! I've been young in my time, and I've played the deuce with men!

I'm speaking of ten years past - I was barely sixty then:

My cheeks were mellow and soft, and my eyes were large and sweet,

POLL PINEAPPLE'S eyes were the standing toast of the Royal Fleet!

by William Schwenck Gilbert