Erin McGee Ferrell: Все стихи автора

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Erin McGee Ferrell

Professionally a Visual Artist for over 30 years, I occasionally have poems that come to me. Please look at my paintings, ArtistAMERICAN.com, and understand that both the pen and the paintbrush do the same job. One I am a master of, the other...poetry...a novice. The past year I have dealt with Breast Cancer. My collection of works on this site reflect this unexpected and difficult journey. The Pirate Crew Paper Doll Collection is a Breast Cancer Educational Tool featuring Ms. Mastectomy, Ms. Chemotherapy, Ms. Radiation, Ms. Oophorectomy, and Ms. BRCA2. These works are dedicated to all who have walked in this path.

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I M P O R T A N T

I need your help, to be important.

Other artists are having big shows; making impact - a drive I was born with.

All about right place and time. Determined to not waste any opportunity.

***

Yet, today, I sit with my work in the quiet of Maine, February.

Nothing happening...

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Slow Winter

These days move so slowly. Long insides with short sun encounters through car windows. I keep a running to-do list of small accomplishment goals for structure and sanity. Despite exercising and lessening beer, my fat increases; shocked to see a new roll under my back bra strap. Grateful for sleep, stories, internet and new Spanish classes.

Erin McGee Ferrell

Soft Into Tough

Carla told me that I am becoming tougher, less carefree. Whether it is a lack of Estrogen or experience; I will claim the 50's housewife into the cowgirl state.

❗Tough now - to not take crap and to be hurt.

❗To claim my truth and to state my need.

Erin McGee Ferrell

PREPARATION

I have 10 days to prepare for the journey.

Double Mastectomy, 6 weeks limited arm us , possible Chemo.

Lord, help me to know how to do this.

My studio as a happy place to maybe paint with my feet.

Christmas decorated and wrapped.

Bills paid and blogs posted.

Erin McGee Ferrell

Crow

Thank you Crow for sitting outside my window.

You watch me closely.

I like your companionship.

I like your attention.

I like your shape.

Black against White sky.

Erin McGee Ferrell

Under Barbed Wire

We watch them crawling necks on earth.

Barged wire scratching and pricking backs.

Ranger school promo video demonstration of a snake, subtle and in war; while you my army sun, crawl on your stomach, so will I.

Trying hard to avoid pain of barbs. Through a ranger challenge or different sort. Chemo and radiation - an ordeal of strength, a trial of fitness and the irradiation of weakness.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

#IFinishedTheRace

Running my first 5k without stopping to walk.

Internal mantra of strength and endurance.

I hate running but did it still.

Keeping a good pace, I pushed till the end and then sprinted to finish,

a strength unknown to me that I possessed.

Lord, may this race symbolise the weeks to come with endurance painting in MAINE.

Erin McGee Ferrell

Buckled In

The track clicks in noisy upward suspense.

Buckled in tight there is no escape.

The choice has been made, I've waited in line.

Crowded together, we are silent.

A few lift arms to embrace the free fall drop.

Most crunch in a ball jaws tight Roller Coaster.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Buckled in Maine

The upward track clicks and clacks in noise suspense. Buckled in there is no escape. Crowded into the car, we all sit, silent. Nearly at the top, we lift arms high to feel the free fall drop. I love wooden roller coasters. Being out of control and safe, dropping the stomach - funny. Swishing and gravity play.

The Oncologist said the next five months of Chemo will be like riding one. So here I sit, the next week clicking up the hill. Not alone, another controlling the ride. Nervous about the plunge but in general comforted by the analogy because I've always eventually exited the ride.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Add in 10lbs

I can't get rid of this tire around my middle.

I exercise and eat fairly healthy.

10lbs heavier than I've ever been, thinking it was the new silicone implants and then Dr confirmed - it's what happens. Add it to the over all suck. The theme of the season is round, round head and round belly.

It is what it is.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Broken Together inthewaitingroom

You and I sit nearby, both in hospital gowns.

Never having met before, your neck is scarred and red.

This is my first day...

We talk in this early morning gathering.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

GREY SKY

The actual sky is Grey.

MAINE in Grey.

Grey is beautiful and complicated.

There is no Sadness in this rich color.

I am not sad when I paint with Grey.

I am mature and seasoned and the painter I strive to become.

Erin McGee Ferrell